happy summer!

yea yea, i'm greeting everyone to have their summer breaks fun and with ease..
though a lot of my friends are telling me that their summer vacations are boring than ever, not all should really care about it and we shall do what is best and take out what is in store for us on this 2month break...

****

it only sucks when i realize that i'll be bidding good bye to the prestigious university that i love.. it's hard to imagine myself transferring to wherever, suckish, school i'll be transferring to..

but i have one escape though..

it is to never be with you...

never be near you...

get you out of my mind...

but i can't...

you're the reason why i want to be there, well, except the fact that i want to graduate there, too,..

but i really don't know now...

i'm starting to hate myself so much because i can't avoid you..

i can't have enough of you...

and it seems like i've fallen for you...

you're my angel in disguise...

you bring out the best and the worst from me...

but i really have no other choices left...

i have to leave you...

i really should...

even though i do not want to...


*shinichi's confused

welcome: change...

so for the past days, i feel miserable, lonely, and other negative stuff..
(of course, do not include suicidal in the list cause i'm not.. LOL)

so now i've made my decision...
maybe i just need to go with the flow..
expect less from people, especially from someone, to, err, perhaps, love me in return?
yea, it's hard to wait for that, especially when a person shows no clue of doing it...
but i've realized that this is the best thing to do...

and finally, i have to breathe a lot of air in now...
so i'll be ready when they'll leave me hanging...

footnote:
to those people who conclude that i am a member of this "emo" society, what you need to do is reexamine your conclusion and your facts.
this is plain expression, nothing beyond that...

confusion's bugging me... what should i do?...

you leave me breathless...
you make me speechless..
you can absolutely make me go crazy with every confession you make,
but no matter what you say, i can't let go of you...

but in contrary to this,
you always make me happy...
you can make me smile when i'm sad..
you can make me forget about miserable stuff..

now, i don't know what to do...
i can't really see your care for me..
let's say that you really care for me,
but you are more concerned on others reaction about the things i want you to do..

this may lead me to saying goodbye...

but i can't...

seems like you're really significant to me now....

but will this keep me satisfied?

i hate it when i feel like this.

i hate this. you're making me feel miserable. i don't know what to do anymore.

i don't care if others will judge you if they'll know your past.
i don't really care about that.

but i can't feel your care for me.
your words are the opposite of what you show me.

and that is why i'm hating you.
i just want you to love me in return. i just hope you'll do before i decide to leave you.

"...it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair..."

"...it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair..."
Originally uploaded by {J.}

when i saw this photo, there was a certain interest that bugged me.

i don't know why, maybe it's because i have a certain interest for this type of photo colors, too.

it gives me the spark that i suddenly remember some memories.

maybe it's because of the old appearance that makes me reminisce.

me. myself and i (part 2)

now that i am finished writing my rough draft for my library research paper, its time to make a part two. c:

ironically speaking, i hate those people who easily assume thoughts. yea, i know. my friends know that i suffer this disease called "paranoia" of making decisions. but the people that i have mentioned above are those who are called in layman's term as FC, making the term Feeling Close a little short.

so, it's not that i hate them, it's just the fact that sometimes, it is a bit annoying. of course i am open to meet new acquaintances, but the people whom i consider friends are those people who know a bit well compared to others.

i became a bit strict about my circle of friends after i realize that i have made a lot of mistakes before. it is hard for me to actually admit it, but yes, i am a man who easily falls for words.

it is never my intention to hate those people that i have mingled with before i changed. this is only because they are the ones who pushed me to reinvent myself.

me. myself and i

so, maybe it's time to let you know a deeper meaning about who I really am.

of course, I will not state my full name and the things I always do cause I think that idea is too common.

perhaps, letting you know the real person will be better.


I am a kid, yea, I know, I am already in college, but still, I consider myself as a kid. maybe it's because, me, myself, is quite not ready to mature the whole stuff about me.

it's quite ironic though that some people tell me I am a matured thinker for my age, especially when we talk about personal stuff, religion topics, a little politics, and how I live my life.

I never really intended to do that. why? because I can't really imagine myself as a matured person in the near future. maybe when I turn 18 then I will be. but for now, my virtues will be the only things in my life that i will conclude matured.

I am not the typical type of person who wants to please everyone. I don't like that childish act and "pa-cute" personality cause that really sucks for me. I hate people who are acting less for their age. it is not suitable for them anymore, especially those who are already turning 21, an approximation will be from the batches '05 or '04? (apologies to those who are affected by this statement, but I know you know who this line is really for. ok? XD)

I hate it when I feel that my mind speaks of about maturity links, like my last statement. so let me just shift to another characteristic.

I am a person of my own.
a Computer Science student, maybe one of those who are confused why we are in this course, even though we are not really that interested about computers. that is also a reason why people usually give a wrong impression about me that I am taking a "speech-centered" program, like in UPLB, that will be DEVCOM or COM ARTS, but in reverse, I'm liking it when someone states that. LOL.

to be continued...